The Lies of Protection
Last week on the blog we talked about lies of inability. Bottom line you, are more capable than you think; the power comes from deciding and making moves instead of buying into a negative internal monologue. You are capable! You are able! You can do what you are willing to work for!
This week I want to quickly tackle lies of protection.
What are lies of protection? They are the untruths we tell ourselves about why we shouldn’t or can’t do something. They are the lies we tell ourselves so we don’t feel obligated to stand up for what we believe in or even broach the topics that might somehow rock the boat. They are the lies we tell ourselves to keep us stuck but all under the guise of “protecting our peace”.
Now, let me be clear, I’m the first to say that protecting your peace is important. Setting solid boundaries of what you will or will not allow in your life is paramount to feel safe, be understood and guard yourself from things that truly do take away from your mental, physical or emotional well being. These are not lies, these are boundaries and they are a must.
No, what I’m talking about are lies of protection that are actually holding us hostage. These lies keep us from doing things we want to do, from dreaming big, from chasing goals and ultimately stifle our calling. These lies are planted by others in encounters that may or may not be intended to stop us. These lies are born out of our own fear, our own self consciousness and out of our own limiting beliefs and even the projection of what people think of us.
Lies of protection are things like, “I can’t do that because no one cares what I have to say on the matter.” “I’m no expert on the subject so why even share my experience.” “If I say what I think people will disagree and dislike me.” “Working hard towards that goal will only leave me disappointed because I won’t make it anyway.”
All the lies start from a place of protection for self. It’s not because the work is too hard, the dream is too big, the goal is so lofty, the calling is too great. They come from a place to ease what a person may believe is the inevitable failure that will become them. If you give yourself an excuse right from the start, when you quit, you can use that excuse to ease the disappointment and pseudo understand that it was never really meant to be.
How incredibly sad. We are beating ourselves before we even start with these lies of protection. The truth of the matter is the only thing we are protecting ourselves from is actually finding success and fulfillment.
We are told all the things we should do… we should get a job, buy a car, buy a house, have children, get a couple pets, work until retirement and then slip slowly into oblivion hoping that we will get a yearly visit from our kids and grandkids and maybe take a vacation once in a while. The lies we tell protect us from stepping outside our prescribed “shoulds”. These lies stop us from asking for a promotion, changing careers, starting our own thing on the side or full time, stepping outside the norm where we might find our own unique calling.
There is nothing wrong with the list of “shoulds” in the list above except when we are using these lies of protection to keep us stuck where we are unhappy and unfulfilled. If you’ve found a career you love, have the desire to own a home, desire to have children, etc… There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Enjoy!
For a lot of people though, that list begins to grow. It changes from “should” to “one day”. A person begins to desire more, have found something they want to spend more time doing or not doing. At a certain point in life the additions to their list of “should” become more of a bucket list that never sees the light of day because the lies of protection kick in. There isn’t time or resources, where to start, how to have that conversation of something new and they go on with their plain list of “shoulds” with resentment and regret.
So how do we beat these lies of protection? Well, unfortunately there really isn’t any trick, hack or tip that makes it easy. First, we really just have to take a step back and look at what we are trying to “protect” ourselves from. Is that actually something that is worthy? Is it true it? Is it necessary? Let’s say you want to start selling your current hobby in an online platform or at local craft shows. The lie we start with is that what we make isn’t good enough. No one will buy it. No one will like it and ultimately no one will like me. Seems like a crazy spiral from I have this hobby I love that I could earn an income from to no one will like me. But this is a classic lie of protection.
If you never set up your online store, never tell your friends and family, never rent a booth at the craft show you will never know if people will buy or like your items. Furthermore, giving something one chance is really quite foolish. I mean, think about anything that you learn in life, was one shot enough? Driving? How about talking, walking, reading, learning to type… almost nothing you get on the first try and then that’s just how you are able to do it forever. Similarly, you almost always get better at the things you do over and over again, that’s called practice.
We don’t need a lie to tell ourselves that we need to practice. So yeah, maybe the first craft show you display your jewelry at is a flop. No earrings are sold. But maybe you see another way to do things, another way to display, a different presentation, a different price or material. You don’t need to protect yourself from these failures. It might bruise our ego a little but at the same time we will never get better if quit because we knew we wouldn’t be able to do it anyway…
We have to be willing to face lies head on. We have to stop making excuses for why we will fail and start creating scenarios for how we will handle success and learning and the adventure of trying something new. We will never get to walk out our purpose if we are not first willing to be bold enough to say I’m willing and I’m going to give this a fair shot.
Side note: What’s a fair shot?? It obviously depends on the adventure. More than once. And probably a prescribed amount of time is necessary. Research it. Blogs take 6 months or more to be recognized by Google, it takes the average person to see the same ad for something they’re interested in 12 times before they might click a link to find out more. More than once, more than a week… give yourself time. Overnight successes have been years in the making.
Lies of protection are broken down by truth, just like any other lie. We must back up our argument in support of ourselves. We must practice saying, “I can do this.” “I have an experience like no one else and I’m willing to share in hopes of finding commonality.” “I am good at this and I will find my niche.” “I’m willing to spend ___ amount of time before I rethink my approach.”
True protection is for our physical safety, mental stability, emotional control and spiritual freedom. Lies of protection are only to make the inevitable experience of failure final and accepted with less pain.
Lastly, I will say God didn’t not give us a spirit of fear. That is something that the world has taught us. God gave us a calling. The world will try to minimize it. God loves you. The world wants you to live in doubt. God will walk with you. The world will turn its back when things get inconvenient. Lies of protection don’t come from a father who loves us and wants the best for us.
Stop lying to yourself. Stop trying to protect yourself. Be genuinely you. Let your biggest fans find you and love you because you were brave enough to step out into your calling and passion. Inspire those around you and support those who are working towards beating down these lies of protection.
