Starting Over vs Work in Progress

I have a mindset much like everyone else.  I want to do something good for myself.  I want to wake up feeling good, accomplish my to-do list, reach for my goals and go to bed satisfied with the effort I put in for the day.  Unfortunately, some days  life gets in the way.  My to-do list keeps growing, my goals seem just as far away as they were the day before and doing something good for myself sometimes means hiding in the space between the kitchen and dining room eating secret candy I’ve hidden from my kids.  

I hear it over and over again - it’s not about perfection, it’s about progress.  Maybe I’m not as consistent as I should be with writing, working out, cleaning and doing the household chores.  But I’m not all together irregular.  So why do I feel like I’m starting over again every time.  With each workout I’m stuck feeling like I’m a beginner even though I’ve been working out most of my life in some form.  My writing seems to be the same as it was years ago.  Perhaps I’ve come closer to mastering comma usage but that’s only a maybe :)  The house regenerates the same layers of dust, dishes and laundry.  My system to keep things  organized seems to only just barely tow the line.  

It’s exhausting.  Feeling like I’m starting from the beginning every time, looking at the starting line and not seeing the checkered finish banner moving any closer gets depressing.  

I’m not lazy or undriven.  I have goals and dreams.  Places I want to go in the metaphorical ladder of life.  And yet here I am with that first rung feeling...still…again...what seems like over and over.

As I sit here and evaluate I realize the consistency is the key.  I realize all the motivational quotes about “it’s the journey” are true.  I realize that I am improving.  I can see more definition in my body.  I can tell a difference in my thought pattern and word choices in writing.  It's evident that my systems for the house, while maybe just towing the line, they are evolving and working.  Our family has grown from my husband and myself, to us and four kids, two dogs  and a cat.  Everyone seems to have clean socks and full tummies so something is working.  

Maybe I’m just being too hard on myself.  Maybe the mom’s swiffering in their pearls and scrubbing toilets in their heels are not a real picture of life.  Sounds silly that I haven’t had that thought before.  I know I have, but I don’t know if it really soaked in…

There is absolutely nothing realistic about having a picture perfect home; making gourmet meals, being dressed to the nines, hair and make-up on point every day.  It’s unrealistic to think there will be a schedule that every one adheres to every day, that nothing will ever derail a well planned out calendar or that wearing an evening gown is the norm for most women on the daily.  It’s not practical to think that every day in business is going to go smoothly, that I’ll never make a mistake, that things won’t pop up I wasn’t prepared for.  

And seriously, who has a great workout or stays completely on track with their nutrition ALL the time.

Here’s the deal though, when I really look at my life, I am consistently doing my best.  It’s not an excuse, it’s called being human.  Yes, I’m going to make mistakes, I’m going to fall short, I’m going to mess up.  I’m going to look like maybe I fell in the trash instead of carrying it to the garage some days.  I’m going to have a workout I stop early because I just can’t seem to keep up.  And let’s be real, I’m not even interested in entertaining the idea of a nutrition plan that doesn’t allow for cookies or desserts.  

We get this one chance at life, at being our best self and that doesn’t include beating ourselves up all the time over our shortcomings.  I don’t have to be the perfect wife, mom, coach, business owner to do it well.  I don’t have to be perfect to be accepted, to be worth the effort, to be loved.   

Consistently showing up and giving my best, being available, trying even when it’s hard is progress, and progress will happen when you consistently show up.  It’s kind of a vicious but beautiful circle.  If you feel this in your heart and soul just know you will get better.  I will get better.  Repeatedly showing up and taking care of what needs to get  done is progress; quit wasting time on comparisons and do what needs to get done to further your dreams, your health, your household, your business.  

A mindset shift happens when you start listing the things you’ve accomplished instead of where you feel you failed.  You don’t have to follow up every good thing with two negative things.  It’s okay to feel good, to be proud and still have things on your list to check off.  It’s okay to be proud of what you’ve done, where you are and who you are and still want  more.  It doesn’t have to be at the expense of your own self esteem.    

You’re not continually starting over.  You are a beautiful work in progress and so am I.  At some level we have to get comfortable with the fact we can’t do it all, all the time.  We also don’t have to give up and quit when things get sideways.  When we find we are at our quitting point we need to learn to rest not quit.  

Ask yourself some questions, reflect on your priorities, what makes you feel successful and accomplished.  Do those things!  Do what needs to get done, what you have time for, what you can realistically expect from yourself.  You are not a TV mom.  You aren’t a 30 second commercial with a diamond laden woman baking cookies with perfectly manicured  children and a polished home with a flawlessly  orchestrated business plan depicted for selling cereal.  You just aren’t.  That’s not realistic and it’s not what life looks like.  And that’s okay.  You are you and that’s enough.  Do your best.  Stop starting over and be a beautiful work in progress.