Creating Flexible Routines
Last time we talked all about routines I described what they are, why they matter and how they can help. I don’t know that it was revolutionary, it was just the facts ma’am, just the facts. However, put your seatbelts on, because creating a routine that works in your life and for multiple situations and circumstances in your life is revolutionary.
First off, you should create a routine to fit in different circumstances of daily life because it gives you the control to keep working your processes towards success regardless of what life is throwing at you. It’s rare that every day will be the same. It’s rare that there won’t be some amount of chaos that finds it’s way into your life, whether it’s big or small. Anything from snow days to sick kids, over sleeping, appointments or celebrations can disrupt the daily flow of life. If you have plans in place that fit into only your typical day it can leave the days when the chaos arises stressful, unproductive and your general attitude frazzled.
Let’s start with creating a routine for that typical day and work from there. I promise once you have the framework laid it will be easier to create alternate routines for chaotic days. Let’s also remember that one chaotic day, one unproductive day, one day dealing with everyone else’s situations does not derail your progress. In fact, there are times where no amount of planning, routine or structure are going to save you. Those days we give ourselves grace. We adjust our attitude to be grateful for the interruption of normal life to be a support, a caregiver, a friend, etc… In a situation where someone needed you and you answered the call it is a blessing to that person and for you. Ultimately, that’s what we all are going for, to be a blessing to someone or for someone. That’s why we work as hard as we do to be the best version of ourselves.
Creating the typical routine is not as daunting as it can seem. My suggestion is this: if you had the perfect day, a day that you would want to live over and over again with no interruption what would that look like? Write down all the things you would do. For most, that would consist of some sort of quiet time, time to move their body, a couple good meals, maybe a trip to shop or the spa, time to read, time with loved ones, a chance to work on a hobby or project and even time to watch a favorite show on TV. We can easily fill a perfect day with al the things we love. What a world it would be if we just got up and did all the things we loved over and over… and yet would they still be as much fun if that was all our life consisted of? Food for thought, huh?
The next step in creating a routine is going back to paper and writing down all the necessary things that get done in a day. For most that looks like work, chores, meals, maybe carpool or child drop offs and pick ups. At the end of the day we often exhaustedly try to squeeze in as many of our “perfect day” activities as possible. Somehow we enjoy them less and feel guilty and rushed as we dash in to grab a new sweater or impatiently wait to get that desperate hair cut… we put off reading until tomorrow, moving until tomorrow, the hobby until the weekend and who knows when we’ll make it back to finish up that project.
The beauty of having a routine is it simplifies your day to day life. The beauty of having a couple of alternate routines is controlling the uncontrollable and still feeling on top.
Our next step in creating a routine for daily life is to take a few of the necessary items that have to be done and combine with a few of the things that we want to do or fall into the self care category. Using your normal schedule, an average week day, start by writing what time you get up, what time you have to be at work, what time you get off, if you have kids and what their schedules are. Basically, we’re filling in the blanks around the time we have after the “must-do’s” are done.
Most people are disappointed by the amount of time that’s left over. Let me challenge that though. Usually that comes from a place of comparison. How many people, really, get to do whatever they want, whenever they want with no consequence. I can’t think of any. No matter how good it seems for another person they are still juggling responsibilities and needs, wants, relationships, finances, time. We all only have 24 hours in a day. So, simplify your life and let that thought go! Get excited for any amount of free time you find and then choose wisely.
Based off your priorities and goals I suggest people categorize their list of “perfect day” items and necessity items. If each day you could do a few things from each list think how accomplished you’d feel. The goal here is to come up with a balanced compromise of getting chores and taking care of responsibilities with self care and enjoyment.
Before I started using this system of prioritizing my days and to-do lists, it all felt long and out of whack. One day would be super productive in one area but totally lacking in another. One day would feel totally selfish and then scramble to get something done to feel productive. Repeat, repeat, repeat, and I always felt like an old frog waking up in a new pond, trying to figure it out day at a time.
Now, I know the stuff that I deemed necessary for today will get done. I also know that I will have time to fill my own cup too.
The next step is to figure out time. If you have made a list of things that is going to take you 18 hours of the day and you haven’t factored in eating, sleeping, commuting etc… you’re going to need to pair that down. Ideally, we’re all getting 7-9 hours of sleep, make a note of that. Studies show that number of people who function well on less than 6 hours is zero!! No one does, so stop kidding yourself and get some rest. Promise the rest of the routine comes easier when you’re not exhausted too. Denote the length of time you need for each activity.
Keep in mind this is YOUR schedule. If you put “workout” in at night and you hate working out at night what can you adjust or shift to make it happen earlier in the day? Now, obviously sometimes we’re just in an incongruent season of life and part of the struggle is going to make us stronger. Under optimal conditions you can move your workout to a different time of day and enjoy getting it done. This is the thought with creating the schedule; getting as much done with as much enjoyment as possible.
When I first started to fit working out in my routine the person that I was trying to model was getting up at 4am and in the gym by 4:30 sweating and jumping and doing all the things. I felt like if I wasn’t doing that too, I was failing. We had a lot in common; hard working husbands, four kids, a desire to be in better shape and ultimately working from home. There I was getting up at 4am, hating it every second of it, barely able to get through a workout because my body just wasn’t ready for it yet. It was working out great for her and terribly for me. All this to say if your schedule doesn’t look like someone else’s don’t worry about it. You are different people with different demands on your time and different priorities no matter how similar it might seem. Do yourself a favor and do what works for you not mash your life into someone else’s plan.
As you are creating your schedule for a normal day and you get to a point where by the end of the week it seems that all the major blocks have been checked start thinking about what life looks like if you have a kid home from school sick or you have appointments during the week, you have a getaway planned or a work trip coming up, maybe a birthday to celebrate or anything that disrupts your usual 24 hours. Start looking into these situational changes and see how you don’t have to give up getting stuff done. It might take some creativity to feel as productive when the chaos starts to swirl but you can have a plan and feel better about the day. These alternate schedules are also a great place to practice giving grace. A sick baby at home needs your attention. The days of snuggling on the couch are fleeting but there will always be laundry to fold, just something to think about.
People love you, care about you, want to be around because of the way you make them feel in general and about themselves… not because you have the cleanest baseboards or the most checkmarks on a to-do list.
As you start to see how your days are coming together you might find that after your necessary commitments there is time for one or two chores, a short time towards a hobby, project and or self-care item in a day, maybe a chance to sit down with the family and watch TV or talk. This is where having a plan for chores, cooking, transportation for the kids, school activities and more comes into play. You begin to realize that you can’t get it all done in one day but you can keep up with all the things if you have an organized yet flexible list of how you accomplish things each day.
This is the point where I also recommend meal prepping, creating a menu, a chore chart and cleaning schedule and asking your family, roommate, whoever, to also take responsibility for some of the things that need to get done in a shared space. Creating a routine and schedule for multiple areas in your life simplifies your life. It also allows for someone to step in if you were to get sick, be out of the house or unable to keep your normal routine. There is already a plan in place with clearly defined goals for the day or week and how to go about getting there.
For now, finalize your schedule for a normal day and what an odd day might look like or if you have a split schedule. Stick to the time you say you’ll get up and go to bed. Fill in the gap with realistic expectations. Try it out for a week or two and see what works and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to adjust. This is supposed to help you streamline your days while still getting everything done. With every good schedule is always someone willing to work the process over and over to keep making it functional for the season of life they are in. Keep trying until you get it right. When you do, you’ll know it and love it!
